The second thing I hate about myself...
Difficulty in expressing myself when I'm angry, depressed, frustrated or sad. Normally, I'd just sit quietly and wouldn't talk to anyone. If I'm at home, I'd just spend my time in the computer. But being in an entertainment industry, I cannot just burn myself on my seat & be invisible for awhile. I always have to maintain this bubbly personality that I have, the friendly smile that might make a big difference in a person's hard day, the Sarita that they've known.
There were times, during my 'dark' teenage days, when I'd have suicidal tendency. That's how I dealt with my anger. Luckily I have overcome it and appreciate life as it is. Now I know what I could have missed if I did stupid things like that before.
I still have to learn how to express myself when I'm angry. But I don't want to just lash out and and run around while waving my ax. No, I don't want to be like that. I'm just scared of losing people around me. Like what if they don't like me when I'm mad? Will they still accept me as I am? Or will that change the way they deal with me? I hate changes, especially negative ones.
But then it all goes down to who I really am. Maybe I'm gifted to solve sad emotions by myself, unlike other people who'd affect others just for them to express themselves. Or maybe I should change that. What do you think?
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